


You're Never Bothering Me (Steve Rogers/Reader)

by writingtoforgetreality



Category: Marvel
Genre: Abusive Parents, Crying, F/M, Fluff, Happy Ending, Language, Past Abuse, Self-Esteem Issues, Teasing Tony, but what's new, steve is a sweetheart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-19
Updated: 2021-03-19
Packaged: 2021-03-28 08:02:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30136488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writingtoforgetreality/pseuds/writingtoforgetreality
Summary: Steve got back from a mission with Bucky & you were happy to have him back in one piece. But after waking up, your thoughts consumed you & you tried your best to hide them in order not to bother a very exhausted Steve.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Reader
Comments: 3
Kudos: 15





	You're Never Bothering Me (Steve Rogers/Reader)

You knew this was going to be a shitty day the moment you woke up. As soon as you opened your eyes, you could feel the heavy thoughts torturing your head. The voice of your father. It got louder & louder & you could not do anything to shut it out. Well, that was a lie. There was someone right next to you who could scare away all of your demons. This someone, though, was very tired & still asleep. There was no way you would wake him after he just got home from a very hard mission.

Looking over at Steve, you saw how peaceful he looked. Finally able to sleep off the exhaustion of the mission he had gone on with Bucky. You decided to make your way out of your shared bed & went over to Steve‘s dresser. Usually, the two of you would sleep in his room because it was bigger & way comfier. Opening one of his drawers, you grabbed one of his shirts, not really caring which one, & a pair of his sweats. Entering the bathroom, you switched on the light, regretting it a second later. The light made you flinch & it took you a while to get used to it. A few moments passed & you were finally able to fully open your eyes. The mirror in front of you showed a sick looking face, yours. Maybe it was the fact that you just got up but maybe it was because you actually felt like shit. You knew what to do. You had done it a thousand times already.

Undressing yourself, you started off your shower, taking way longer than usual. You knew Steve would be asleep for a while so you did not rush. Finishing off, you stepped outside again, putting a towel over yourself to dry off your still wet skin. You decided against blow drying your hair. Too much effort at this point. Steve‘s shirt was way too big for you so you figured you would not need his sweats & left them on the shelf. Again, you looked in the mirror. Steve would definitely know something was off so you had to hide your true feelings yet again. Not that he did not know about your past. About how your dad had become an alcoholic after your mom had passed away. About how he would scream at you, telling you it was your fault she died. At first, it was just screaming but after a while he started punching, even kicking, you. Yet you usually liked to keep it to yourself when you felt like this. Your demons told you you would be a burden to everyone so you never bothered to tell Steve. You knew he would do anything to keep you happy but you did not want to take away his time.

After doing your make up, you slowly stepped into the bedroom again, making sure not to wake Steve. But you were faced with his sitting form, back towards you. Even from behind he looked incredibly tired.

"Good morning." you faked your usual friendly voice.

"G‘morning, doll.“ his sleepy voice answered.

You walked over to him, climbing on the bed & hugging him from behind. You mainly did it because you needed the comfort but you knew he thought you did it because you were glad to have him back in one piece. No misunderstandings here. You were incredibly happy to have him back. You stayed like this for a while, intertwined with each other, not saying a word. Then he suddenly spoke up, his voice filling the quiet room.

"Wanna grab breakfast from the kitchen? Maybe one of them already made some.“ Steve suggested.

"I‘ll join you but I‘m not really hungry. Ate quite a lot at dinner.“ you lied. You had actually forgotten to eat dinner. You were never able to eat when Steve was away.

"‘Kay.“ he answered & got up. Steve looked back & held his hand out for you to grab. You smiled, genuinely, because of his sweet gesture. You took his hand & let him lead you to the kitchen area.

"Good morning, sleepyheads!“ Tony cheered, way too eager at such a time. You flinched but tried to not make it obvious. It was hard for you to see someone be as happy as Tony when you, yourself, were at your lowest.

"Morning, Tony." Steve answered, still sleepy but trying his best. You just nodded at Tony, hoping none of them would ask. Lucky you.

"How did you sleep, Capsicle? (Y/N)?” Tony asked in a teasing tone. He was referring to something in particular but you were not paying attention.

"I slept well. So did (Y/N). Nothing more.” Steve sighed.

"(Y/N), hey, you okay?” Tony sounded concerned. Usually, you were a loud person, especially in the mornings, but today, you had not said anything at all. You did not hear him, though. Steve then nudged you, trying to gain your attention. Your eyes shot up to his, showing vulnerability for just a second but it then shifted into confusion.

"Tony asked if you slept well.” Steve repeated.

"Yeah, sure, I always do.” you faked a smile. Apparently, it looked real enough & neither of them asked again.

Tony had made pancakes for everyone, if you believed it or not. He placed two plates in front of Steve & you. Steve started loading up his plate while you just sat there, staring at nothing in particular, not making a move to grab pancakes yourself.

"(Y/N)? Aren’t you hungry?” Tony again. He cared for everyone on this team even if he was cold sometimes.

"Um, not really...still full from dinner last night.” you realized how you sounded less & less sure about what you were saying. Nope, keep hiding your feelings, (Y/N). You got this.

"You didn’t show up for dinner, though? I’m talking about last night. You told us you’d go to bed early.” Tony revealed. Steve raised his eyebrows, confusion written all over his face. He looked at you, waiting for you to answer. Shoot, why did Tony have to be here today? You did not know how to deal with this situation so you spoke up.

"Yeah, I’ll be heading to my room, I need to grab something. See you!” you awkwardly reasoned & stormed off, leaving both, Steve & Tony, puzzled. You hated lying to them, you really did, but you also were not ready to talk about how you were feeling.

"Yeah, she definitely isn’t okay. Did you do something?” Tony asked Steve who was not in the mood for his pancakes anymore.

"Um...not that I know of. She seemed fine. I’ll go talk to her. Thanks for the pancakes, though.” Steve hurried.

"You’re welcome.” Tony said but Steve was already too far away to hear him.

At first, Steve went to his room. Whenever you needed time for yourself, you would crush in his room so he was surprised when he did not find you there. Where could you be? You said _your room_ but you had not been in there for like an eternity? Yet, Steve marched towards _your room_. He knocked & tried opening the door only to find it locked. You had never locked a door.

“Please, just...go away.” your quiet voice emerged from inside. Steve’s heart broke by hearing this. You definitely were not okay. Why did you lie to him? He was sincerely scared by now. He knew about your past, about all the shit that had happened. He also told you he would always be there for you & he meant it.

"Doll? Hey, it’s me. Please open up, okay? No matter what it is, we got this. Together.”

His words made you tear up. Why was he so sweet all the time? Why did he not think of you as a burden? What was different with him? You wanted to answer but found you were not strong enough to form words anymore. There was no way of him leaving when he knew you were inside, not feeling well. Steve leaned his forehead against your door. He probably should leave & let you be alone for a while. Before he could decide though, you slowly opened the door, just a tiny bit. Steve looked at you through the creak. He could tell you were tired. Of everything. You left & went over to your bed. You knew Steve would come in anyway. There was no need to give him permission to do so. Steve opened the door wider, stepped inside & closed it behind him. By this point, you were already laying in your bed, staring at the ceiling. Steve did not say anything, he just moved to the other side of the bed & laid there beside you, staring at the ceiling as well. He knew there was no point to force you to talk. You would talk to him eventually but for now, you should know that he was there, next to you, giving you a feeling of belonging with him. There was not said anything for a couple of minutes, just the two of you, next to one another. All that could be heard was the slow & steady breathing of Steve & you. After a while, you spoke up, quietly.

"I’m sorry, Steve.” he turned his head so he was facing you. It scared him to see you so full of emotion yet so emotionless at the same time.

“What are you apologizing for?” Steve asked, knowing damn well you apologized for every little thing even though he had told you a million times you did not have to do this.

"For lying to you. I just- I just didn’t want to-.” you were barely able to finish a sentence, tears forming at the corners of your eyes. They made their way down your face.

"It’s fine, take your time, doll, I’m here. I’m not leaving.” Steve took one of your hands & intertwined it with his. He used his free arm to prop himself up, letting you know you had his full attention. What a sweetheart he was.

You looked over at him & this was all it took for you to break down. Steve took you in for a hug in an instant, shooing you, whispering sweet nothings in your hear. You truly were happy to have him. He helped you calm down by slowly stroking your arms, your lower back & by pushing his hands through your hair. When the tears finally stopped, you moved out of his hold. You needed to look at him while you explained yourself. Steve simply looked at you, waiting for you to gain courage to speak up.

"First of all, I want you to know that this has nothing to do with you, okay?” he nodded & let you continue.

“I had a nightmare about my dad again. You know, the usual. Just one of his alcoholic mistakes, as he used to call them. When I finally woke up, it was all I could think of. And I didn’t wanna bother you with my problems.” Steve wanted to interrupt & opened his mouth but you were faster.

“Not when you just got home from a hard mission. So I kinda just told you I wasn’t hungry because I just felt sick. And I didn’t eat yesterday because I’m never really hungry when you’re gone because I worry about you. So when Tony asked, I just thought running off was the best idea. I didn’t wanna break down in front of everyone. These images won’t disappear, the voices can’t be silenced. I can’t do this, Steve. I don’t know what to do.” you managed to say all of this without breaking into tears again.

Steve took you in his embrace again, planting a kiss on top of your head. He rested his chin on your head & started talking.

"We’ve talked about this, (Y/N). You’re never bothering me. All I want is for you to be truly happy. I’m your boyfriend & it’s kinda my duty to know when you’re feeling like this. I’m sorry I didn’t notice.” he frowned. How could he not realize your suffering?

"Well, it’s because I’m a hell of an actor.” you slightly chuckled. Oh, how he loved the sound of that.

"As I was saying...You mean too much to me, doll. And I hate seeing you like this. So here I am again, telling you that I’m here to stay. You won’t get rid of me, sweetheart. We’ll get through this together. I don’t care if you have to wake me at 3 am or if you call during a mission. The most important thing is that _you_ are okay. I’d do anything to keep you happy. I know these voices are awful & if there was a way to take them from you, I would. I would take all of your demons & make them mine. You have an entire team that has got your back. You are loved by so many, (Y/N). I love you.” Steve finished.

You were awestruck by his words. Hearing him say this brought a new wave of tears to your eyes. Only this time, because of his sincerity & his sweetness. How did you ever get so lucky? Gosh, you loved this human being. Why did he choose you out of everyone? He chose you even though he knew about your problems.

"Steve, I- I don’t know what to say...” you were being honest with him & if it was possible, he loved you even more right now.

“Then don’t.” he whispered & got closer to you, attempting to rest his forehead against yours. You had something else in mind, though. You were at a loss of words so you had to show him. You grabbed his neck & pulled his lips on top of yours. He immediately melted against your touch. He loved your soft lips & how they matched perfectly with his. You were made for each other.

After a while, you broke apart, breathing again.

“Thank you, Steve. For everything. I’m so lucky to call you my boyfriend. I love you.” you gazed into his blue orbs.

"I’m the lucky one here, doll. I love you, too. More than anything.” he stared right back into your (Y/E/C) eyes. He opened his arms & waited for you to scoot closer to him. You buried your face in the crook of his neck, breathing in his scent. Steve was your light. The light that could let your demons disappear for a while. You started laying down together, not caring that you were not in Steve’s room. All that mattered was you in his arms, together. As you should be.

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback is welcome!
> 
> -xocathy


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